Clown Thumper

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Let's be honest, none of us can stand clowns. Those of us who had a clown show up at their 5th birthday party are still traumatized. NOW? There are clowns walking the streets? Be prepared with your own Phoenix Bats original: the Clown Thumper. While you won't be hitting any game balls with this bat, you sure as heck can take care of pesky clowns trying to chase you in the woods. Of course, you may just be a big fan of clowns, and that's an okay reason to purchase as well (think of it as dual purpose....just in case).

Clown Thumper Wood Bat Stats:
Stats???? We're thumping Clowns here, folks! It will get the job done (or look wicked at your desk or in the man cave).
Each wood bat, typically varying in specifications, will be all natural hardwood of maple, ash or birch.
Weight of each? Let's just say this: way too light and Clowns get the last laugh; way too heavy and a Clown still gets the last laugh as you will be too slow at playing "high striker." We're not fans of either of those, so we do our best to still make them reasonably swing-able.

Production Time: Out the door in 2 days or less!

While all game bats are covered under Phoenix Bats Risk Free Guarantee, the Clown Thumper is not. You think we want to run the risk of being blamed when a Clown shows up on your doorstep and you foolishly decided to send it back? Heck no!!!

And since some chuckle-head actually emailed us, complaining that we were advocating hitting someone with a bat when we offered this bat in a limited run prior: "Phoenix Bats in no way supports hitting any living creature with a bat....unless he or she or it is Undead (not alive, not dead, but a Zombie)".

A great way to show off your product in the man cave, at work or wherever this special keepsake deserves.
Our gallery-quality display starts at $12 and gives a wide range of options to choose from. Shop our diverse bat display options as an add-on!

Additional Details

clown thumper

2 Reviews

  • 5
    Clown thumper softball bat

    Published by Kevin Cotter on Sunday November 29th 2020 12:01:48 PM

    Received the clown thumper softball bat. Looks great. Thanks. Granddaughter can now fight off clowns she might face at college.

  • 5
    Clown Thumper

    Published by Kevin Cotter on Tuesday September 1st 2020 09:33:55 PM

    Better than expected. Will be a great gift for granddaughter that is afraid of clowns. She’s a senior in high school and heck of a softball player. Only thing that could have been better would be softball size and shape. Thanks

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